Last time, we ended just before Rowan’s decision about who to send home first was revealed. So, let’s start briefly with the evening of day 2 when Rowan had to break the news to the unlucky girl.
Rowan makes his way to the living room where four of the ladies are assembled.
Rowan: I’ve really enjoyed spending time with all of you, but unfortunately the time has come to send one of you home.
Rowan: Jane, you’re a great girl, but I don’t think we’re compatible and that became clear to me on the date today. It just felt like we were a bit at odds with each other.
Jane: So… I have to leave?
Rowan: I’m afraid so.
I’m sorry that Jane was the first to go MonaSolstraale 😦 I was surprised by this because she actually had the highest points on day 1! But things went pretty badly downhill on day 2 thanks to her shouting at Rowan in the hot spring and then reacting badly to his joke in the solo conversation.
Rowan: That was really difficult. But, on the bright place, now I get to live in a mansion with 7 beautiful women.
7 beautiful women… Until next eviction.
By the way, Rowan’s in different clothes here because he changed into one of his cold weather outfits.
Moving on to day 3 now!
Rowan wakes up in the bachelor’s master bedroom.
Rowan: I have an idea. I’m going to impress the ladies with my cooking skills.
Impress them? You’re more likely to poison them…
Rowan’s breakfast preparations did not begin well. I wish I could say that they improved but…
… They didn’t.
Rowan: Oops. They won’t mind a bit of extra pepper, right?
You’re not really going to serve them something that’s fallen on a dirty grill, are you?
Rowan: Um… Three second rule?
By the way, you might be wondering why I added a door to the kitchen (if you remember what the kitchen was like before). It’s so I could lock the girls out while Rowan cooks. Otherwise they all try to make their own food and I wanted everyone to eat together.
I actually managed to get everyone eating at the table together for like 5 seconds.
Oh come on pick your jaw up off the floor.
Rowan: I er – I love the outfit, Valda.
Valda: I’m so glad you like it. Unlike some people, I thought I should make a little more effort than just a t-shirt and old sweatpants, you know?
Emmy: Well dear, some of us can get a man without having to dress like a – *we had to bleep this out*
Rowan: I hope you enjoyed breakfast.
Phoebe: It was very… Peppery.
Rowan: Is that a good thing? I’m happy to cook every day.
Phoebe: Perhaps I should start working on the delicioso spell.
(That’s the spell which summons food)
Rowan, Phoebe, Rhianna, Jackie and Emmy gather in the sitting room to chat – oh, sorry, they’re watching TV. I wish that bloody thing had stayed broken.
Er Jackie, you know Rowan’s here, right?
Jackie: Just giving him a bit of a sneak preview.
Stop drooling, Rowan.
Rowan: But I’ve never seen a naked woman before.
Rowan: My grandmother and sister do not count. This time I don’t want to burn my own eyes out with a hot poker.
At about midday I got a ‘flirty party’ started… by which I mean that I stuck love lamps everywhere, put on some romance music and gave them a keg of whatever juice it is which gives them a flirty moodlet. Oh and I also put a door in front of the stairs and locked it in addition to locking all of the other doors in order to keep them all on the ground floor. Ok now I say it it does sound a bit coercive…
I should mention that I have jealousy switched off with MCCC so the girls won’t react badly to Rowan flirting with other people in front of them.
Rowan: My dance moves are gonna pull all the ladies…
Please please stop.
With everyone now in a flirty mood, I made Rowan go and flirt with each of they girls. They each got two flirt interactions and one compliment appearance, then I would leave them to see if they would flirt autonomously.
Rowan: You look out of this world.
Melissa: As an alien, I have heard that one a billion times before.
Rowan: I’m sorry, that was cheesy. I don’t have much experience with women, extra-terrestrial or otherwise…
Really? We couldn’t tell.
Rowan: … But what I’m trying to say is that I find you very attractive.
Melissa: You’re so sweet. The feeling is definitely mutual.
Rowan actually autonomously confessed his attraction to Melissa which was cute.
Britta: May I cut in?
Rowan: It’s always a pleasure to talk to a beautiful lady like you.
Melissa: Ugh we were having a moment! Why’d she have to come and ruin everything?
Everyone was meant to be in their party wear but this is one of Britta’s everyday outfits. I think she tried to shower and ended up changing back into her everyday outfit. Or I just messed up.
Britta: Handsome and charming? You’d better stop before you make me fall in love with you, Mr Straud.
Melissa: So sickly sweet! I should use an alien mind trick to fry the brains right out of her pretty little head…
Jackie: How’d you like my outfit?
Rowan: You look like a model in it, darling.
Jackie: A model? Ugh, no! Models are ten a penny, I want to be treated like a Princess!
Rowan: Well, if you married me you’d be a Princess, since I’m technically a Prince.
(Rowan is the grandson of Princess Cordelia in case you forgot – since Adonis is Princess Cordelia’s son).
Jackie: Princess Jacqueline… Ohhh I like the sound of that.
Rowan: A beautiful Princess you’d make too.
Valda: Puuhhhlease. So shallow.
Melissa: That girl needs taking down a peg or two. Maybe someone should arrange a surprise abduction…
Rowan: That’s a lovely dress, but I can’t stop wondering whether you’re wearing that sexy red lingerie under it.
Valda: Hmm maybe I am and maybe I’m not….
Valda: … Or maybe I’m wearing *whispers* nothing at all.
Valda: Would you like to find out?
No! No woohoo yet – you haven’t even kissed the girl!
Emmy: Ahem I do believe it’s my turn now. The itinerary for this evening said that you were going to be flirting with all of the girls and logically I should be next in line since I’m the closest to you in proximity.
Way to kill the atmosphere.
Rowan: You’re cute when you’re bossing me around. I like a woman who can take charge.
Emmy: Oh I can take charge in ways you’ve never even imagined.
I can’t figure out if she means this in a dirty way or a ‘I-will-control-everything-about-your-life-including-scheduling-your-bathroom-breaks’ kind of way. Maybe a bit of both.
I just realised I don’t think Emmy’s wearing her partywear either. Ugh what a fiasco, I’m sorry.
Valda: My offer still stands, honey.
Rowan: Creator, please can I…?
NO NO AND AGAIN NO!!!
Fortunately, Jackie distracts Valda by helping her to do a keg stand.
Rowan: Well don’t you look enchanting…
Rhianna: You flirt with five other girls before me and then you use that awful line?! Er no, I won’t stand for it.
Darn it, this was one of Rhianna’s everyday outfits, not her partywear. Guess I messed up again.
Rowan: Just because I like the other girls doesn’t mean I don’t like you too.
Rhianna: So I’m only one of many to you am I?
Melissa: Hee hee – oh he is digging his own grave now.
Rowan: No, that’s not what I…
Rhianna: Save it!
Rowan: I need some medical advice. Do you think you can help me?
Phoebe: I can try. What’s the nature of your complaint?
Rowan: I seem to have trouble with my heart rate when I’m around you, Doctor Glade. Can you prescribe anything for that?
Phoebe: *Giggles* That sounds like a hard problem to diagnose – I’d have to start by doing a full body examination.
Rowan: I think it would definitely be hard.
Emmy: meh meh meh I’m a sexy doctor meh meh meh… What a bimbo.
I failed to get Phoebe to stay in her partywear too. Sorry, I’ve been so incompetent this chapter.
After instigating those flirty conversations with Rowan and the ladies, I left everyone to their own devices to talk and flirt (or not) autonomously.
Oh look, now Emmy’s helping Jackie to do a keg stand.
Energy started to run low, so I cheated everyone’s needs up so that the party could continue into the night.
Adonis: Go on, son!
Adonis, what the hell are you doing here?
Adonis: Adonis? Who’s Adonis?
If you thought I wouldn’t recognise you with that beard you can think again.
Adonis: Fine! I came to see how my son was doing chatting up the ladies. Has he pulled yet?
Watching your son flirt with girls through a window? Not creepy at all.
As you can see from this screenshot, I did finally put Phoebe and Britta into their party outfits. Better late than never, right?
Phoebe: I’m ready to perform that examination any time you are.
Rowan: Don’t tempt me…
NO NO AND A THOUSAND TIMES NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rowan dances with Britta, Melissa and Valda.
Britta: Babe, you are so sexy when you dance.
Rowan: I told you they’d like my dancing!
Oh she’s just saying that.
Melissa: Well I like your dancing too. I can’t resist a confident man.
Jackie: *Sobbing* I can’t believe how awful this party was. No butlers, no live music, no ice sculptures, no nothing! I thought we were meant to be living in luxury!
Rhianna: Look on the bright side, you might not be living here for much longer.
Phoebe: She’s only talking about elimination from the competition, right? Not, y’know, elimination from life?
I surely hope so.
(By the way, I’m pretty sure Jackie was actually crying because of a sad movie)
Everyone started watching the TV and at this point it was like 4am so I ended the party and sent them all to bed.
Sorry for the super long chapter and until next time, folks!