Chapter 1.14

Last chapter, Caly donated her childrens’ belongings to her fans, Galatea became friends with Candy and Turner and completed her aspiration, Atlas and Epimetheus became children and Mayor Whiskers’ kittenhood came to an end.


Vlad destroyed the dollhouse. Again.

Vlad: I’m pretending it’s this hovel you call a house. Oh Straud Mansion how I miss you!

Circe: Look, I’m working on my movement skill like you were always telling me to do. Do I get to appear in the chapter now?

You forget that you’ve already completed your aspiration so I literally do not care what you do.

Vlad found that being a celebrity has its benefits.

Paparazzi #1: Uh a little help? I’m being attacked by a vampire.

Paparazzi #2 *looking at phone*: A vampire huh? Nice try but I’m not quite gullible enough to fall for that one.

Paparazzi #2: Holy plum he was telling the truth!

I made Vlad take picture after picture until he maxed the photography skill. Now he and Caly can take a photo together which will count as commemorating them both and so earn us one point in the scoring (at least I think it counts as commemorating them both… Unless I need a separate picture of each of them).

I got almost all of the kids in one screenshot.

Epimetheus: Can you guys hurry up? I want to sit at the table to eat.

Scylla: Circe and I are the eldest so it’s only fair that we get the two chairs.

Circe: That’s right, respect your elders!

Galatea: Maybe we should just buy some more chairs?

Mayor: You’d better not steal my spot on top of the fridge, that’s all.

Apparently the neighbourhood has an clean eco footprint but I switched off eco footprint in settings pretty much as soon as I got the pack so I don’t know what is going on here. I only hope that the game isn’t also ignoring the fact that I have NPC NAP voting switched off in settings too.

Atlas played on the pirate ship for his aspiration.

Atlas: Avast me hearties, land ho!

Epimetheus played chess with Vlad for his aspiration.

Vlad: I am going to destroy you!

Epimetheus: I’m your son, aren’t you meant to, you know, let me win?

Vlad: Ha, not a chance! Unless you win – in which case it’s definitely because I let you.

Caly: Vladislaus, your stupid animal is putting his dirty paws in the garden salad I just prepared!

Mayor: What stupid animal?

She means you.

Mayor: The cheek of it! Fish lady, you should be more polite to me – cats kill fish, you know.

I’ve put this ‘outdoor toilet’ bush down outside the house because cats can go into it and bring out feathers. I figured that Mayor whiskers might help us to complete the feather collection that way.

Vlad: I feel like the evil voice never leaves me alone lately. If it’s not painting she’s making me do it’s gardening and if it’s not that it’s livestreaming or photography. This is not how I had envisaged spending eternity.

Caly: My poor Vladypoos, you work too hard. You need a massage.

That is the grossest nickname I ever heard.

I love how Vlad and Caly line up with the photo on the wall in the back of this screenshot.

Caly: At least the evil voice lets us have some fun, if you know what I mean.

Vlad: Yes but if only that fun hadn’t saddled me with five kids.

Caly: Look on the bright side, when they all move out it’ll just be you and me.

I hate to break it to the both of you but whichever of your kids wins the heir poll will remain living with you… Along with their partner and children.

Caly needed to get 25 positive reactions from ‘inciting cheers’.

Caly: That’s right it’s me, The Calypso Straud! Can I get a woop woop?

Scientist: Can we get some peace and quiet? This is a library!

Caly: Hey, you’re lucky that I’ve graced such a dull place with my presence.

Caly: Look at me, look at me!

Paparazzi: Forget about her, look at that ass!

Caly: Why won’t he play with me?

Mayor: I do not forgive you for calling me a stupid animal earlier.

Galatea: So, how are you enjoying childhood?

Atlas: Well, I’m clean at last so that’s pretty great.

Galatea: Wait… You were on drugs?

Idiot, he meant he’s clean as in he no longer stinks because he’s had a shower!

Circe looked so happy swimming in the pool.

Circe: Mum says that I’m a nymph like her so one day I will have a tail too!

Um Scylla what are you doing on board the pirate ship?

Scylla: I’m a pirate!

No, you’re a sea monster, you should be down in the sea attacking the ship.

(for anyone who doesn’t remember Scylla is named after a sea monster from Greek mythology who destroyed ships).

Since we have two paintings of Caly, I had Caly paint Vlad again.

Caly: What do you think, Circe?

Circe: How come Dad is smiling in this painting?

Caly: It’s called artistic license.

Caly read a story to Epimetheus for his aspiration.

Caly: We looked! Then we saw him step in on the mat! We looked! And we saw him! The Cat in the Hat!

Mayor: I like this story. The main character is a black and white cat who wears a bow tie and top hat. It’s obviously about me.

Um I suspect that you were inspired by the Dr Seuss book, not vice versa.

I decided to keep Caly up all night trying to get those 25 positive reactions to her cheering. First, I sent her to one of the new bars which came with Eco Lifestyle. I had Vlad tag along too since he is still working on gaining fame.

Caly: You stand in the presence of a demigoddess: worship me, worship me!

Random woman: Hey, isn’t that your wife back there? Is she drunk?

Vlad: Wife? I don’t know who you mean. God this is so embarrassing…

Then they went to a nightclub in Windenburg.

Caly: Aren’t you all excited to see a bigshot celebrity like me in a dump like this? Cheer for me, go on!

Roland: Hey, I know her!

Thank you for that positive reaction Roland.

Caly did eventually manage to get the 25 positive reactions that she needed, thanks to spamming the ‘incite cheers’ action, probably because people wanted to shut her up.

Luna: I love your art so much that I’ve decided to name my baby Vladislaus if it’s a boy or Vladweena for a girl. Could I have an autograph to give the baby when it’s old enough to read?

Vlad: One: that’s creepy, and two: hell no.

Luna: Oh… Ok.

She looks so sad! How could you be mean to a pregnant woman, Vlad?

Vlad: Why should it matter to me that she’s pregnant?

Let’s just say that alt universe Vlad would understand 😉

Dude in baseball cap: Vladislaus, I can’t believe it’s you! I’m a big fan of your work, could I have your autograph?

Vlad: You’re not planning to name your unborn child after me are you?

Dude in baseball cap: Uh no…

Vlad: Then sure!

Caly: Hey Vlad, I bet you can’t beat me in a dance off.

Vlad: I guess we’ll never know.

Caly: Come on Mr Grumpypants, it’ll be fun!

Vlad: Oh very well, just this once.

Caly: As a nymph, I have a natural sense of rhythm.

Vlad: Is she trying to do that thing they call twerking?

Caly: I will have you know that this is a traditional nymph dance!

Vlad: Ouch! I knew that this dancing foolery was a bad idea.

Dude in baseball cap: Did he just hit himself in the face?

Vlad: Um it’s a traditional vampire dance?

Dude in baseball cap: I still can’t believe I’m actually meeting you!

Vlad: Wait a minute, you already got an autograph tonight, didn’t you? I’m going to need some payment for this.

Dude in baseball cap: My idol is drinking my blood – so cool!

Vlad: There’s something to be said for this fame malarkey after all. Plenty of willing victims.

You mean plenty of fans?

Vlad: Isn’t that what I just said?

2 thoughts on “Chapter 1.14

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