To start off with, I want to thank Queenarella for letting me steal her challenge idea. Please go and read her Legacy-bachelor challenge. It is much better than mine will ever be!
Vlad: What the – this isn’t Straud Mansion, where am I? Also get me the hell out of the sun, I’m burning to death!
I kidnapped you and spirited you away to Newcrest. Congratulations, you are the founder of my legacy! Oh also I robbed you of all your skills as well as your vampire powers and reset your vampire rank to fledgling.
Vlad: No, this can’t be! I’m a Grand Master, you can’t take that away from me!
Already did, sorry bud.
Vlad: I hear that Alternative Universe Vlad has a vampire army. Why can’t I have an army?
You don’t want to know what Alt Universe Vlad did to get that army. Trust me, you are infinitely better off.
Vlad: Oh well, I see you have at least provided me with four snacks and three vampires to do my bidding.
Actually no. You will be dining on plasma packs for the foreseeable future. One of these 7 sims will be your future spouse – you have to choose which. You are not – I repeat NOT – to sink your fangs into any one of them.
Vlad: I choose none of them. There, now I’d like to go home.
Not an option. Also, you can say goodbye to Straud Mansion. That’s not home anymore.
Vlad: Look here, I have been single for 95 years…
Vlad: … And that’s not about to change! I’m a loner, you know – that means I LIKE being alone. Also: plasma packs? You can’t expect me to subsist on that artificial filth!
You ARE getting married and you won’t drink from any of the contestants!
Vlad: I’ve changed my mind. Leave me out here to burn.
Do you at least like the bachelor mansion, Vlad? (it was kindly donated by Queenarella and is listed on the gallery as Love Mansion – check it out, it is amazing!)
Vlad: I hate it. Where’s the dust, the cobwebs, the coffins?
Oh be quiet and go introduce yourself to the contestants.
First up is Roland by afai1261, who Vlad greeted… Through a pane of solid glass. After all those years alone, he really has forgotten how to socialise hasn’t he?
I just want to note here that I began by deleting Vlad’s relationships with all of the contestants. I then made him speak with them for exactly one hour each (except for those who ended the conversation and went to do something else autonomously before the hour was up, but I won’t tell you who those were!)
Vlad: Apparently we have to talk now. What sorts of things do people usually make conversation about then?
Roland: Uh… You could ask me where I’m from?
Vlad: Ok where are you from?
Roland: I live in San Myshuno currently. I hear you’re from Forgotten Hollow. You must be neighbours with Caleb Vatore.
Vlad: Ugh that prissy plasma-pack-drinking pretty boy? Who does he think he’s impressing with that silly hair anyway?
Roland: Haha.. Yeah…
Vlad: So, what makes you want to enter a competition like this?
Roland: I guess I’ve been alone for too long. I was in love once, a long time ago, but I got my heart broken pretty bad. I’ve only just begun to feel ready to move on with someone new.
Roland is totally NOT stalking Caleb’s simstagram here. Nuh uh.
Looks like Calypso was the first of the contestants to find the pizza float.
And here’s her mermaid form. Ahh it’s so beautiful!
Next, Vlad introduced himself to Candy, who was donated by pammiechick.
Vlad: *uncontrollable hissing* (he doesn’t have the uncontrollable hissing weakness, since I reset all of his vampire powers and weaknesses but all vampires hiss periodically)
Candy: You know I do find excessive hissing a little vulgar. But, I will make an exception on this occasion since you are obviously a handsome and distinguished vampire.
I agree, the adjective ‘handsome’ isn’t the one I would use to describe you either, Vlad.
Vlad: So, it sucks that we’re not allowed to drink from the humans here, doesn’t it?
Candy: Hahaha good one, I do love a man with a sense of humour.
Candy: Sucks? Because we’re vampires…
Vlad: Yes, and as a proper vampire I prefer my plasma fresh and warm. The stuff in those plasma packs is always tepid and flavourless.
Candy: Oh, you were being serious. Well, I can’t say I agree. I do my best not to drink from humans myself. This might be a good opportunity for you to make a permanent diet change. It’d be good for your health too. Do you know how many diseases humans can carry – so unhygienic!
Vlad: I don’t like the holier-than-thou attitude of this one.
Morgan struck a cute pose on the waterslide. Too bad Vlad wasn’t there to see it.
The third contestant to meet Vlad was Keoni by MonaSolstraale. Didn’t realise he introduced himself to all the vampires first – it was unintentional!
Vlad: So, I just finished talking to a vampiress who doesn’t like drinking human plasma. She says it’s unhygienic! How insane is that?
Keoni: Well actually, I don’t like to drink human plasma either. I think of myself as a good vampire.
Vlad: Oh good grief not another one.
Keoni: I actually think of my vampirism as a sort of disability – a solar allergy, if you will.
Vlad: Disability? Wha…??? Hang on, what did you say your last name was?
Keoni: It’s Kahananui. Hey, do you think you might know my mother? She seems to have something against you, she really didn’t want me to enter this.
Vlad: Aha no… Never met any Kahananuis. Nope. Definitely not.
Turner wandered past looking dejected. There’s really no reason to feel jealous, Turner. Vlad is not the best conversation partner.
Oh look, Bunny also found the pizza float.
And here we have Morgan, entered by DCJ504.
Vlad: Hello dinner – I mean human – I mean.. What’s your name?
Morgan: Um hi, I’m Morgan.
Look at Candy pretending to dance innocently by them. I see you girl, you’re keeping an eye on the competition, aren’t you?
Vlad: So, what brings you here.
Morgan: Well, my mother entered a bachelor competition once. She didn’t win, but I thought it sounded like fun.
Vlad: Fun… There’s nothing fun about it, I can tell you!
Morgan: So, when do you think the bachelor will arrive?
Vlad: I’m the bachelor!
Morgan: Oh.. I was expecting the bachelor to be a little younger and a little less – less…
Morgan: … Less hideous – Oh my goodness, I don’t know where that came from. I’m so sorry, the word ‘hideous’ just popped into my head while I was looking at you. I didn’t mean to say it out loud!
Yes, and my prompting totally didn’t put it there. Mwahahahaha. Just kidding, Morgan autonomously insulted Vlad.
Vlad: Talk to the hand ‘cos the face ain’t listening!
Morgan has totally just realised that calling a vampire ugly might have less than desirable consequence.
Candy was definitely eavesdropping. She’s smirking all over her face.
I have to admit that I put myself into fits of laughter while I was writing this dialogue. It’s probably not funny to anyone besides me, though.
With that encounter over, Vlad made the acquaintance of Turner, made by 15aewar (who I believe goes by Rendora on WordPress).
Vlad: So Turner, since you’re here I suppose you may as well tell me about yourself. I will do my best to look as though I care.
Turner: Well, I live in Brindleton Bay and I’m a media influencer.
Vlad: A what now?
Turner: You know, blogging, simstagram, things like that.
Vlad: Blog.. ing?
Turner: I have a website where I write about my daily life and thoughts.
Vlad: Website – like a spider web? You keep spiders? I have a lot of spiders back home too – well, in my old home… Where I was abducted from…
Turner: Spiders? Ah well close enough.
The next lucky sim to make Vlad’s acquaintance was Calypso from Queenarella.
Vlad was burning to death so I made them go inside to talk.
Caly: First off, not to boast but I know I’m pretty famous. There’s no need to be intimidated, though. I’m just a humble nymph. Although my Father may strike you dead if I’m eliminated from the competition – tehe. Oh by the way, please call me Caly – all my friends do.
Vlad: Your father?
Caly: Yes, good old Atlas! He’s kind of a passive parent. But he’s awfully busy holding the weight of the heavens up on his shoulders and all that, so I can’t blame him for not being around. I know he is watching over me though – he tells me so himself.
Vlad: The god Atlas speaks to you?
Caly: Of course, we talk all the time.
Caly: Oh listen, there he is now. Hello Dad! Yes, I am having a wonderful time. This is my future husband, Vladislaus. Say hi to my father, Vlad!
Vlad: This one’s batshit crazy, isn’t she?
Bunny was in the kitchen looking super guilty for some reason.
Keoni practised his football skills (yes, I’m English so I don’t call it soccer). Love this!
Last but not least, Vlad introduced himself to Bunny who was donated by TheYayToast.
And there’s Candy spying again.
Candy: Spying? Who’s spying? I’m just clearing away this bowl.
Vlad: So, Bunny? What’s the story behind your name? Are you a rabbit who got turned into a sim by a spellcaster or something?
Bunny: Hahaha you’re so funny!
Vlad: Why do people keep saying that today? I’m not trying to be funny.
Bunny: There’s not much of a story behind my name. When she had me my Mum was used to moving in very fashion forward circles and I guess she wanted to choose a non-traditional name for me. I like it though, it suits my personality.
Vlad: You mean you like to have a lot of woohoo? All I know about rabbits is that they’re very good at breeding.
Bunny: No, I mean bunnies look so carefree and happy bouncing around everywhere. I try to be like that – always staying cheerful.
I see you watching again Candy! All this eavesdropping won’t earn you any extra points, just so you know.
Candy: But maybe I can figure out how to sabotage the competition.
I thought you were meant to be a good vampire!
After Vlad had talked with each of the contestants, it was already evening. I decided to just leave everyone to their own devices and see who Vlad autonomously talked to. Spoiler: the answer is no one. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, given his total lack of enthusiasm for the whole project.
Caly slept in the pool while Morgan fell asleep on the pizza float. Just so you girls know, there’s beds enough for everyone inside.
Candy checked out Roland.
Candy, I know Roland is seriously hot but you’re here for Vlad, remember?
Candy: Vlad who?
Vlad did press ups.
Trying to get in shape to impress the contestants eh, Vlad?
Vlad: No, I am taking out my rage at being trapped here against my will.
Well, since you ARE trapped here, maybe you should talk to some of the contestants?
Vlad decided to use the waterslide instead.
Vlad: Wheee! Finally, something good about the modern world!
Morgan and Candy played ping pong.
And then Morgan insulted Candy. What the? Again?! Does Morgan have the mean trait or something? Or maybe she’s annoyed about Candy spying on her and Vlad earlier.
Vlad sat beside Roland who was playing video games. Sigh. So close and yet so far to actual social interaction with one of the contestants.
Well, that’s the end of day one! Next time will be the first elimination. See you then 🙂